no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
