I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
