tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
