But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
