remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
