You're completely useless in the revolution.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
