good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
