i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
we should paint friendship bongs
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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