so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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