How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize