Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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