Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
