My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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