im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
