People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i drank out of a bidet.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
