I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
