Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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