i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
