let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My vagina is officially offended.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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