Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
