You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
