Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize