there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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