sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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