she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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