YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
