Walk of Shame. In a state park.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
