Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
