I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
