I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
