Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
