Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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