there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize