Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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