I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
