It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
