I don't think brook has ever known best
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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