why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
