brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize