Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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