I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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