I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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