He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's shark week go big or go home
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
