my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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