He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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