sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
