i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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