whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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