wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize