Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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