So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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