my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you didnt know i had herpes?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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