i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
