"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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