i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
