I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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