i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
