you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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