everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
