lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Girls should come with a carfax report
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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