Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
